on the edge of the margin.

meeting Darrin Hagen and reading his novel, The Edmonton Queen, this past week has led to a lot of firsts for me. i got to learn about this whole piece of edmonton that i never even knew existed (at least, not in such a grand fashion) and i got to meet and speak to a person who not only uncovers queer history in edmonton, but was – and continues to be – at the forefront of the drag community in the city.

not to take any significance away from Darrin and his novel, but this whole experience has made me think about my own culture and where my community can be placed in edmonton. i too am a part of a minority – albeit one that is met with less resistance from society for its existence. interestingly enough, today is actually one of the most important days for my culture/minority: it’s lunar new year. being Buddhist, there were numerous traditions that needed to be carried out and of course, attending the new year’s ceremony last night at the local monastery was a must. during the entire ceremony, i couldn’t help but look around and see the large congregation that had come together in celebration.

it was then that i realized that i’ve never really thought of myself as a part of a “minority.” i mean, i obviously knew that i was, but i guess it’s never registered in my mind what being a “minority” actually entailed. does being a minority necessarily mean having a smaller sense of place within the city? while i don't think minorities "own" certain areas of the city, i do think that there are particular places where they conglomerate.

hi-to-to-ki.

“She looked up at me between a mass of tangled arms, knotted browns and apathetic expressions of uncomfortable misery.” - Stephen Ledger-Lomas on Highbury & Islington tube platform, Islington (London, England)

while hitotoki 2.0 was a bit of a misfire for me (i found it rather overwhelming), it’s hard not to appreciate the beauty that classic hitotoki offers.

just look at the snippet above (taken from classic hitotoki). an everyday moment is captured and documented by an observer. however, the minute you click on a phrase, you’re led not only to a simple narrative but to an experience as well.

“then our eyes flicked back together again, and a tear was gathering on her cheek...

‘...are you okay?’
‘yes, i’m fine.’

she was lying.
i left.”
- Stephen Ledger-Lomas on Highbury & Islington tube platform, Islington (London, England)


classic hitotoki, i think, presents us with a more shared experience; that it’s not just about capturing and documenting a particular moment but also about the responses these images incite - the influx of senses that arise and the associations we make in relation to these observations.

and to think, the discovery of classic hitotoki was only a click away...

where you at, edmonton?

edmonton, ab. the city of champions. oil country. these are all terms that attempt to describe the city i inhabit and yet my identifier for the city, as you may have surmised from my blog title, is deadmonton.

i can’t exactly remember when i was first introduced to the term deadmonton (or even the first time it slipped across my lips in conversation) but for some reason, it has always stuck. why? i’m not exactly sure myself. maybe it’s because i’ve grown up in this city that i find it uninteresting; the ritualistic routes i take every day that have exhausted any and all enthusiasm i once had for the city. home. school. home. work. home. occasionally, the mall if i’m up to it. i used to blame my disinterest on a lack of variety in the city but sitting here, munching on a cheese croissant and sipping my peppermint tea, i can’t help but overhear people telling one another about the great time they had at this place and did they know about this part of the city. it makes me wish that i knew something more about the city, that i was somehow more invested in this surrounding space.

this reminds me of a discussion in my english class the other day where we attempted to differentiate betweenspace and place. we all agreed that place was something more subjective; that we develop a sense of place from our experiences within a particular space. therefore, maybe my detachment from the city can be rectified by me simply exploring the different crevices of the city that i don’t see every day. maybe, in order to take ownership and call it “my edmonton,” i need to experience more of the city for myself.